I was walking home from work through the lawless streets of Clerkenwell, when a young man hid behind a lamppost and shouted suggestive insults at me. I was ‘rescued’ by an extremely posh young woman who insisted I report the incident to ‘Security’. On arriving at an office, the security guards studiously ignored me. Eventually, one of the guards stood up and and pulled on a white t-shirt with a golden cross on it. “You should attend my sermon”, he said.

Later I discovered that the posh young woman had been arrested by the security guards for abducting a baby. I worked hard to clear her name and the charges were eventually dropped.

I was given a new council house as a reward.