Browsing in a charity shop, I discovered treasure – three hand-painted plates featuring a figure standing in a country lane. I recognised them immediately – they were limited edition David Morrissey plates.

Delighted with my purchase I walked to Catford to visit JB. On the way, I came across a small encampment of protesters – they were fighting to stop the removal of ‘The Tallest Tree’. I had to admit I had never even noticed this tree before, but it hurt my neck to look up to the top – it was hundreds of feet tall.

I rang JB’s bell and she answered the door in a small motorised go-cart. She explained that she had built an extension and the house was simply too big to walk around – she had go-carts for visitors in the hallway. We drove to the kitchen and drank tea. Excitedly I told her about my new plates, but JB looked at me blankly. “Belle, Dave Morrissey has been my lodger for three months – we learn gymnastics together.” “But I want to learn gymnastics with David Morrissey”, I wailed pettishly.