This was a University reunion with a difference: as part of the ‘celebrations’, we were all to sit the final year French essay exam. How could I possibly do this? The only graduates capable of such a feat would be those who went into teaching after completing their degrees.

I looked around at all the current academic staff in the French department and clocked that I recognised nobody. The tall lecturer with grey hair looked the most friendly so I approached him and begged that we would not be required to write in the past historic tense.