My life was now the plot of a 1970s thriller. As yet unknown enemies had sunk my small boat in the harbour and I was back on land, attempting to blend in with the customers of an organised ghost walk in Borough Market. The leader of the walk turned around and waved an umbrella at a derelict-looking front door, saying “Now, there’s a story to be told here”. Realising our guide was Steve Pemberton, I said to myself “Uh-oh, this is NOT going to end well”.