We sold our beautifully proportioned Georgian garden flat and now lived in a narrow town house in a shabby part of town.

We had been persuaded to move by the ‘potential’ of the vast cellar at the bottom of the building. Our neighbour was already hosting fabulous parties there, demonstrating the value of the space. The only problem was that the cellar wasn’t hers to use and we needed to find a way to tell her to cease and desist.

While TPR dealt with the neighbour, my colleague BP took me aside to complain to me about my university friend GW. Could I do anything to stop him promoting rape as recreation?