LM had warned me that her teacher practised ‘fast yoga’. Regardless, I signed up for the open-air class. There were two other newbies, both of whom looked extremely unfit. I’d be fine with some pilates training already under my belt.

As soon as the class started, the regulars started complaining that the three of us had been permitted to join the class.

I was more minded to protest that the teacher had removed all her clothes and was now performing the plank completely naked.