I opened the oven door for the first time in months, only to discover a whole roast chicken inside. How long had it been there, I wondered. Still confused, I opened the parcel I found on my doorstep. Two packs of frozen peas, that should have been delivered to a gentleman in Doncaster. “What a loser,” I thought, “buying frozen peas from Amazon” – only to remember he wasn’t the person with a mysterious forgotten roast chicken in his kitchen.