So delighted was TPR to be with his entire family again, on arrival at his mother’s house for Christmas he disappeared straightaway into the large cinema room with his sisters.

That left me with his step-father to set the table for dinner. I knew that this would be a terrible meal when TPR’s step-father plonked two stale ends of bread (one white, one brown) on the table, convinced that this would be sufficient to feed the entire family. I wasn’t in a mood to wait and see if he was right, so left.

I spent the rest of Christmas Day with KS and RS swimming in an icy loch. The pair of them annoyed me somewhat when later buying trinkets in the lochside gift shop.