My sister-in-law S and her husband A had a reputation for buying ridiculous properties. Their most recent purchase was a cottage in the woods. Our first impression was of isolation and inaccessibility along a rough track through hazel trees. However, beyond the house was a scruffy trailer park, so it was not as isolated as we first thought.

On our approach we stopped to pick some hazel nuts. They were absolutely enormous – the size of potatoes.

After our visit, TPR made my mother cry when he told her that he thought her homemade pickles were revolting.