The view from my desk was one over Chamberlain Square in Birmingham. I watched as a woman reversed out of an office door and eventually emerged wielding two 30-foot fishing poles. The first thing she did was bring bring down a telephone wire.

I charged across the Square to challenge her. Had she reported the damage? Why was she just smirking at me? She frustrated me so much I tried to strangle here, but when that didn’t work, we became best friends.