Apparently I was on a mailing list for male escort services. Three potential ‘dates’ turned up at the conference and exhibition at which I was working.

I found the first two deeply unattractive. One of them was showing me his portfolio. He was particularly proud of a photo shoot in which he posed with a bear while riding a panther. They wanted to charge me £500. I didn’t have that kind of money. The third escort only had one leg, and was cheaper.