It was a joyful experience of being carried high above everyone else through the Edinburgh New Town on the shoulders of my 8 feet tall university pal MH.

Ten minutes later my world fell apart. When we reached my street I saw that the Georgian railings had been smashed in, the hanging baskets cut from their brackets, and half the contents of my flat were scattered outside.

‘Someone dial 999!’ I shrieked ‘My flat’s being burgled!’