Kevin Spacey somehow managed to get a secret message to me: he wanted me in his bed – now. I made my way to the front of the auditorium and climbed in – next to a Chinese man and woman, another woman with grey hair, and a very camp man. I’d never heard of a six-some before!

Before I had time to consider the possible logistics of our mass encounter the other five participants left me. Five minutes later I understood why. They were all actors in the play that was about to start and needed to dress for their parts.

When they reappeared in wigs and make-up I returned to where I belonged: back amongst the rest of the audience, next to JM.