I broke into the house that adjoined that of AT and JT, changed into a flouncy silk trouser suit and discarded my dripping wet tracksuit on the floor.

The woman who caught me was convinced that I was a common burglar, even when I reeled off the names of some of the people that I was pretty sure that she should know. She wanted me out of the house that minute.

I promised to leave, stole a bottle of Cava, and attempted a pathetic exit from a first floor kitchen window into a pit 100 feet below.