As the boat set sail for a tour of the harbour (£40 per person) SPL went into labour. How would she cope with a new baby at her age?

Back home again I was making a mess wherever I went. For example, I managed to spill sticky prawn salad over the carpet. This led me into a conversation with TPR about a long-overdue house move – although we’d need to do a lot of work before putting the flat on the market.