The kitchen in our new flat was long, skinny, and crumbly. The light fittings would have to go, new power points were needed so that we could move the appliances in from the middle of the room to positions flush against the wall, and it looked like the only way to create any space for a table would be to take out some cupboards at the far end of the room.

I had to admit that I was still puzzled as to why we were moving house, especially to one that was in worse condition than our own. Perhaps we had been fooled by the marketing?

The mention in the schedule of a ‘banqueting hall’ was particularly annoying. This description should really have read ‘small dining room’.