We gazed across the table into one another’s eyes confessing our love while bemoaning our tricky marital predicament. There was also the further issue of our physical incompatability, but that only applied when we were upright.

When the object of my desire shape-shifted into an over-tall drag queen in a long pink satin dress standing in the stairwell I was only mildly surprised.

Now, however, we really would need to keep our secret love affair under wraps. It was fortunate that we both worked in an old hospital building where there were plenty of disused staircases that would serve as excellent clandestine rendez-vous.