I mentioned to my sister S that it was probably not a good idea to go out in a crop top. It was a cold day. In addition, ‘Madonna circa 1986’ was no longer a good look in 2015.

My other sister joined in the discussion uninvited. First she drew attention to the weight that I had put on in the period since I had been forced to give up running. Then she picked a fight with both me and S over the ownership of (1) a wooden dinosaur toy that she found peeping out of the skirting board, and (2) a red-knitted kangaroo.

Oblivious to our disgraceful behaviour, my mother still went ahead and invited KF for Christmas lunch. I couldn’t believe it when KF said she’d be delighted to come along. I wouldn’t have accepted had I just witnessed such pathetic sibling scrapping.