‘Dressed’ only in a white hand towel, I had locked myself out of my room. Regardless I joined the others at the disco where my playlist was keeping everyone well entertained. NP led the singing, as usual. Towards the end SMcC’s partner AS revealed that he was a smoker and asked me to find him a lighter. Accommodating as ever, I set off on this new mission.

I knew that if I could find XY, he would have a lighter. I thought I spotted him in Waterstones, but soon noticed that everyone was wearing black and yellow bandanas, and they couldn’t all be him. A better bet for lighter supplies would be one of two male friends from school – MG and ST – both of whom told me independently that they were about to open competing newsagent businesses.