It was about 06:00am when I heard someone come in through the back door of the flat and make their way into the kitchen. I leapt out of bed, pulled on some pyjamas, and went to confront the burglars. What a brave woman I was!

In the kitchen I found TPR, just returned from a night out with his friends. I tried to interest him in my degree results – earlier in the day JC had shown me how to download marks for individual exams taken at the University of Birmingham in 1986, just as you could now do for Nottingham University – but his priority was to get to bed.

In desperation I waved the slip of paper at him and shouted ‘But you’ve got to see this. I’ve been waiting 29 years to find out how well I really did in each exam. I failed the first language paper really badly with a measly mark of 0.4%!’