As we wandered along the country lane my impoverished companion was complaining that nobody ever invited her out on a date. Then we heard the noise of a tractor approaching us from behind and pulled into the hedgerow to let it pass. However, it wasn’t a tractor at all, but two Lomaxes, one of which was pulled by DMcL.

When we reached the house we found TPR at the kitchen table feeding acetates through a reader. These displayed screenshots of TPR’s new favourite daytime television programme. The whole concept of the show was based around fish. Members of the public were invited to the studio to classify fish according to nationality. Then, if they felt hungry, they were offered the option of eating the fish afterwards.