I knew that my boss wouldn’t mind if I took a small tin of lip salve from the supply that she kept in her office drawer. I needed it for the forthcoming PhD studentship interviews, along with a glass of water for each candidate.

When I saw her later that day, my boss confirmed that I had done the right thing. Then she returned to her main preoccupation of switching form from “lady in a fluffy purple jumper” to “tiny, sleek, black cat”.

Meanwhile G recounted tales of a recent date. Doubts were raised regarding the gender and sexuality of the potential suitor on the grounds of strange lumps visible on the throat and chest.