It was a Sunday and I needed to reach Luskentyre. I travelled most of the way on the back of a black bull, only jumping off when the creature transformed into a roaring bear.

When I arrived at the edge of the bay I saw a woman plunge into the sea fully-clothed. She paddled waist-deep in the direction of my destination. I shouted after her that it would be easier to travel by road. She replied that it was closed.

I should have known this: I’d witnessed JK and EH set off to a meeting at our Luskentyre campus by canoe that very morning.