X shouted an insult at me as he left campus at 4pm on Friday – just as I was arriving at work to clear my e-mail. He was convinced that I was not doing a proper job of looking after the Faculty’s PhD students. This was a completely false accusation. Indeed I’d spent that very afternoon identifying a second supervisor for a student who looked like he was about to jump ship for Imperial.

In retaliation I screamed back at X that I conducted research, wrote papers, examined PhDs and did my own fair share of teaching. This, I reminded him, was a lot more than he did. Then I took the decision to find Y to confirm that he was happy with my work.

I heard Y’s voice before I saw him. It sounded like he was offering to take a couple of strangers out for a drink. When I turned the corner I saw a small group of smartly dressed men huddled around Y.

Two of the men stepped aside and revealed to me that they were University staff. They explained that a deal struck between the University and Oracle was on the verge of collapse. Oracle was meant to be donating some kit, but would only do so on he condition that the labs in which it was installed were overhauled. The University’s technical staff were refusing to comply. I suspected that they simply didn’t have the skills to make the required fixes.

I offered a possible solution. “Phone TPR”, I suggested. “This is just the kind of service he could provide for you.”