TPR and I had two homes in Edinburgh. The first was a basement flat with excellent storage. The other was a bright, airy Newhaven apartment with open views across the Firth of Forth. Whenever we were in one we decided to sell the other, but somehow never managed to get as far as contacting an estate agent to set the plans in motion.

It felt like we had broken into an elite circle when the two Professors M came round for dinner at the Newhaven apartment. After the meal one asked if I would be willing to be interviewed for her research project. I agreed, but lost favour quickly when it became obvious that I knew very little about current television schedules. What sort of idiot had never heard of Virgin TV?