Abingdon would hardly have been my choice for a weekend away, but TPR was determined that this would be the perfect venue to relax for a couple of days. He was also completely unaware that this was where my ex-boyfriend lived, and that he and I had been sending flirty texts to one another for weeks – in fact ever since I knew that I would be heading south and that there was an outside chance of seeing one another again.

As things turned out, my ex himself was away for the weekend, so we never had the chance to meet. Instead TPR decided that the most exciting venue in Abingdon was a church hall where he drank whisky by the tumbler and showed off his muscles to an excitable audience of girls with cameras. My only hope was that he would never see the long and shameful correspondence that still lurked within my iPhone.