Twice in two days I popped out of the house, across the road, through the field, and down to the wood to fetch a couple of empty suitcases.

The first time I scattered a crowd of rabbits ahead of me, spied three foxes dancing in the distance, and ran into a couple of deer in the shadow of the trees.

The second time two enormous tigers ambushed me before I reached the suitcases, then chased me all the way back home again.

“We really must do something about the wildlife in our garden”, I commented to TPR.