The arrival of the balding barber with a supply of strawberries was welcome relief after a meeting in which we were subject (once again) to a discussion of even more nonsensical suggestions on how to network with industry contacts. When X told us to follow the example of her hairdresser and target people with hair I really had had enough.

The barber told us that we should keep intact the strawberries that came in punnets, but we were free to eat any that we found on the ground (at our own risk of course). I dived in and picked some enormous succulent fruit up from the grass.

“I knew you’d do that” the barber beamed. “I just made an announcement on local radio that I expected you to be amongst the first to try out the new harvest”.