I’d barely tripped back to work in my green snakeskin stiletto heels when I heard my boss shrieking. Poor OM was being told emphatically that what he had heard from CI was not true.

When my boss caught sight of me, she ushered me into her office to ask me what I thought was the strategy for managing our workloads. “We carry out the tasks as allocated”, I answered robotically, hoping that this was the answer that she hoped for. I then outlined my plans for 2013/14.

Afterwards I tried to find my room in John Lewis. EH – wearing vile boiler insulation jacket styled overcoat – attempted to help me. My office could not be found: it had been demolished to make way for the new John Lewis aqua spa.