JC, GC, TPR and I were playing outside on holiday in Cuba when we first noticed the military aircraft overhead. When one launched a missile that landed just a few feet from us, we took the hint and ran for shelter in our self-catering cottage.

“They’ll still be able to see us!” screamed TPR, “They’ll use infrared!”

We knew we had to prepare for the worst so I dressed in my millefleurs cotton dress and brown cashmere polo neck jumper, then hunted for my glasses.

The raid came as expected. Once they had rounded up the four of us they bundled us into an aircraft carrier. This sailed a few miles out to sea, then dumped us in the cold water, leaving us to perish.