Simon Le Bon left his wife Yasmin – for me! Our first trip together was to Aberdeen beach to visit the Le Bon family’s caravan. I had expected it to be a luxurious trailer. Instead I discovered a tiny old-fashioned tin box about the size of a single toilet cubicle. All it contained was a dirty shower.

Afterwards I mistakenly ate a bowl of discarded yellow Marigold washing-up gloves.