There was something not quite right about this Scottish ski resort. The main drag lift, for example, pulled skiers uphill at such a speed that TPR and I found it almost impossible to cross their path while out on our little “snow walk”.

Back down in the village the options for eating out were minimal. Apart from a family-owned restaurant where toddlers were welcome so long as they sat on their parents’ laps, the main offering for dinner was a “snow sandwich”, i.e. a large white bread roll stuffed with grated cheese.

Later I noticed a member of staff desperately trying to clean stains from the carpet in a small café, a couple doing a runner (I didn’t see their faces, but she had very thick ankles), and two waitresses fighting over tips. Was I a late witness to some terrible Scottish ski resort crime?