As I walked down Lewisham High Street I realised I had been transported back in time. How else could I explain the mysterious re-appearance of Chiesemans Department Store? Stopping to look upwards to appreciate the moment, I noticed several performers standing on top of the buildings on either side of the high street. Dressed in skin-tight suits, they began to perform robot dances.

Later, the star of the robot show took to the stage in a local pub. In a review for the local press, I wrote that she had ‘raspberry-flavoured’ hair, and was much mocked by my colleagues.