It was past midnight and I had no idea why the dog and I had been socialising in this part of town. Walking up Ludgate Hill we were suddenly plunged into complete darkness and I had to feel my way forward. Soon we were illuminated by a street lamp and I saw the dog pick a street fight with a black cat. At the top of the hill people were socialising and drinking on the castle battlements while the chorus from a South Bank Show belted out a choral number.

I took a black cab home, but the driver took me via Birmingham and the fare was extortionate. I complained that £30 was twice the cost of a mini cab, but the driver said passengers with dogs – no matter how small – paid double.

I tumbled into bed and dozed. Only half awake, I saw a bat swoop through a tiny gap in my bedroom window. At first, I hid under the duvet but then I trapped it in a green vase and carried it outside.