For a change I turned left as I passed through the gate, climbed the hill, and headed out along the coast road. Just outside the hotel gates a rather rough wedding party was gathered. The poor podgy bridesmaid wore a vile silver Andy Pandy suit. How appalling for her!

I walked past the family and down to Portobello beach where my bare feet sank into the sand. It was only then that I realised that there was something more shameful than that bridesmaid’s outfit: going out for a walk completely naked.