When exactly had I booked my place on this ‘Surburbans Go to Europe by Coach’ holiday? And since when had zone 2 in south east London been considered ‘suburban’? I was a fish out of water stuck on a hot coach, with perfectly groomed and attractive middle-aged couples.

When we piled off a coach in Italy, a delicious banquet awaited us. But the venue was unprepared for an unaccompanied adult and there was nowhere for me to sit. I was forced to wander table to table asking people if I could join them. They all refused and I resorted to stealing a potato croquette out of a food warmer and trying to make conversation with the waiters.