Unsure how I had become a contestant on this ‘women only’ game show, I watched horrified as the other players competed in the first round. They were scaling a horizontal climbing wall while other contestants were firing high velocity water cannons at them. There was no way I was going to be able to do it. Not only had I not trained, but I hated heights and was not wearing waterproof mascara. I talked my way out of round one, only to discover that round two involved strategic clothes swapping. The aim was to convince the others your own clothes were ‘better than theirs’ and to swap outfits.

In this,too, I failed.