I pushed open the tiny bathroom door. Behind it stood a French student and his racing bike. I frowned at the dirty tyre marks on the white-tiled floor.

“What on earth are you doing here?” I asked.

“I had nowhere else to hide from this dratted Diamond Jubilee”, he replied.

“I think you’ll find that the Jubilee celebrations are now all over”, I informed him. “Don’t you mean the Olympic Torch?”