First we were amazed to hear that a tiny Middle Eastern prince had popped over for a round of golf at our local club. Then we were astonished to witness streams flowing uphill over the Pentland Hills. The biggest shock of all, however, was that these streams were not of water, but of sticky crude oil.

How did this all add up? Were we to regret another sign of environmental meltdown, or to celebrate a wonderful new source of income for the Scottish economy?