I was busy in the kitchen admiring my glug jug collection when KT called the meeting. I reckoned that I should wear more than a pair of lacy black knickers in the company of my colleagues so I rushed through the bedroom to get dressed. There I pulled on my favourite stiff pink netting tutu and topped my outfit with a thin white vest. I looked so much better covered up, even though I had no time to brush my hair or clean my teeth before everyone else (including the Dean – it was an important meeting) arrived.

At first I was disappointed that only two of my three male room-mates were in attendance. However, when KT introduced the main agenda item I was relieved that the third was absent. KT was concerned about his personal hygiene. She’d never met anyone else before who brushed himself with sticks rather than took a shower or a bath. “Is this a common practice?” she enquired.