While top fashion designer MSB prepared for the visit of AF, my sister J and I headed for the Pentland Hills. We timed our visit to watch the release of geese at the start of the shooting season. We didn’t appreciate that this quantity of birds overhead would turn the sky black. Nor were we prepared for the deluge of guano.

By the time we returned AF had transformed into a sulky version of her Auntie S. I was incredibly embarrassed. I tried to make up for the teenage bad behaviour by showing enormous enthusiasm for the snack that MSB had kindly prepared for us all. The Danish version of Marmite on toast wasn’t quite as bad as I expected.