I was awake all night. How fortunate then that a television set had mysteriously appeared at the foot of the bed. I was able to watch two full feature films.

In the first, Barbra Streisand was married to Nick Nolte. He took her to a shop, totally empty except for a reggae DJ and a set of decks and speakers. Nolte’s character slowly removed a 12 inch single from its shrink wrapping, handed it to the DJ and, as the music started, embraced his wife. As the scene became more explicit, they were interrupted by the phone ringing. It was the in-laws who wanted to ask Barbra’s character exactly how she was feeling. This had been an elaborate ploy by the husband to encourage his wife to be more conversational in bed. This was the last straw for the wife, whose character later married Michael Palin.

It later emerged that every character in the movie was revealed through a different piece of music.

The second film, starring Doris Day, was called ‘By Quiet Creek’. Later I was able to describe the films to a friend, so that I could illustrate how little I had slept.

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I collected every item in a range of beauty products only available from Boots the Chemist, but was upset by their constant adding items to the range. Didn’t they know how poor I was?