I was super keen to show BR the publicity material that I had developed to promote public libraries. She picked up my MacBook, adjusted the settings (I had no idea that the screen was detachable), and clicked “play”. The video was set in Birmingham and starred a much younger version of me, all slim, fresh-faced and glossy-haired – and speaking with a Brummie accent. Supporting roles were played by JB and KB, who danced in a scene set at the edge of a forest. I could tell that BR was not impressed, but the only criticism that she voiced was that the credits were not presented in an appropriate font. Apparently Calibri should only ever be used on warning notices.

Back at work I was trying to run a research seminar. We had spent so much time getting organised that only 20 minutes were left for my presentation. We knew that the meeting couldn’t over-run because FG had already interrupted once to to say that he needed the room at 10:00. We changed our plans and decided to go round the table for a quick update on project news. I went first. From the looks of the other staff I could tell that they doubted the contribution that I declared I had made to their projects over the summer. Worse was that in the chaos of the meeting JG found her leaving card.