I hadn’t seen Russell for twenty years, and yet he had booked me to play jazz cornet at a corporate bash. The silver instrument had been delivered and I knew I had less that six hours to carry out the biggest bluff of my life. Astonishingly, while all Russell had to do was to play the piano, I was expected to sing as well as improvise an entire set in the style of George Melly.

Even more extraordinary, SH, who I hadn’t seen since school, had her own escort girl. Was this really the girl who once asked me “Do you think you should keep your nightie on on your wedding night?”.