Counting Richard Burton twice, Elizabeth Taylor had eight husbands – and so did I! By some miracle there were eight TPRs in the house. This was extremely handy, albeit a bit of a squash at bedtime.

One day as I returned home along North Bridge and down Leith Street I spied one of my TPRs hovering beside an Edinburgh City Council recycling unit. On closer inspection I realised that I had caught him in the act of throwing out a cupboard-full of my “may come in useful one day” clutter. I shot him a dirty look, then dived into the bin to retrieve the lid-less Tupperware boxes. There I also dug out a huge hoard of toddler equipment, some of it brand new. For my niece F I picked out some pretty little booties in the shape of a pair of grey mice, then stuffed them into my pocket.

When I re-emerged I was rather surprised to come face-to-face with a council employee. She demanded payment, quoting sums that were way higher than the recommended retail price for the goods that I had “rescued”.