Running through the countryside with LF urging me on was all fine and dandy, but who had come up with the idea of serving afternoon tea at the same time? I struggled to keep the tea in my mug, especially on the bends.

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Instead of asking for connecting train times at the information booth, my podgy blonde travelling companion announced loudly that she was my minder, harbouring a “dangerous criminal”. I interrupted to apologise for the ramblings of this fantasist, and to confirm the time of our WMPTE connection.