It was so long since I had been on holiday, I had no idea whether this was normal. The only lunch option was ‘creamed magic mushrooms on ciabatta’.

Later the flea market turned into a fists-out bunfight as shoppers tore the items off the shelves in a frenzy. I looked at the neon coloured eye shadow and decided against it. I chose some rose flavoured lip gloss which immediately disappeared. I was going home empty handed.