CS and I wandered the campus at night, arm in arm, devising plots to make a fortune from the delivery of social media master classes. We were not alone: JK was also hard at work in his office, and we also caught a glimpse of MS and IH dashing along a corridor.

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Our new investment was a run-down 1960s semi in a rough part of town. Curious to find out more about the neighbours, I was delighted when the family next door came over to meet us. The mother first introduced her own mother, and then the children. Very pretty and white blond, there were four of them, including a set of twins, ranging in age from seven to three. I admired this single mother and her beautiful family, but couldn’t account for the mishap of the youngest son’s name. She must have at least seen the film of Lord of the Rings even if she had not read the book. How would this child survive into adulthood with the unfortunate label of “Gollum”?