I helped the local school to relocate by carrying a cardboard box of books to a house around the corner. This formed the next stage in the ‘human chain’ that was being used to save removal costs. I was helped by an attractive young man who later rang my doorbell and presented me with a scrawled poem:

the best thing for YOU is to go out with ME

Impossibly flattered and flustered by the poem, I was five minutes late for a meeting of my friends that was being held upstairs and I couldn’t catch up with the discussion. What was going on?

Later I watched and participated in a dreadful reality show hosted by Davina McCall. After flying in a rickety plane, students were shown footage of messy bathrooms and were made to tidy up after themselves. How did I get involved in this rubbish?