I swapped houses with my friend P and found myself living in a seaside town where I knew no-one. I was desperate to move back to London, but it seemed P had other ideas. She had called a meeting of friends to tell us all exactly how we were to behave now that she was living in my home. She had a strategic plan while I had just drifted along! It proved impossible to tell her that I wanted to swap back. I was disconcerted that every time I looked at her, she had a new hairstyle. One minute she was Floella Benjamin, then she sported a royal blue mohican. At the end of the meeting she told us she was going to shave her head and we had all better like it.